The Like

I accidentally liked a guy’s Facebook picture from 2011 at 3:09am on a Saturday night while out at a bar swiping through his old album to show people how attractive he is. I did not realize that I had liked it until the next day, when I happened to be re-stalking the same album on a sunny Sunday afternoon, only to freeze in dread when I saw the “Unlike” option under on of the photos. A foggy memory came back of the night before, and the deja vu of feverishly swiping through these old photos deep in his Facebook history came rolling in like a black dust cloud in the 1930’s midwest. I checked by activity log and yes, I had indeed liked it at 3:09am the night before.

I immediately texted all of my male friends for guidance. This is what they said.

Weigh in with your answers in the comments.

“Hehehe…ok…So, you gotta own it”

“I’d just completely own what happened. Like, you both know what happened. And if he’s into it, it’ll work out. Are you into it? Is that why you were stalking?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if you see this person regularly or what? But if it comes up somehow, or if you just bring it up when the moment is right. That’s my recommendation”

“Oh god oh god uhhhhhh I’d say some of your options are: a) like all of his other profile photos  b) unlike the photo and bury the embarrassment down deep c) comment and be like ‘this is a great photo!'”

“Hahaha oh noooooo. You should pretend you got hacked and make a status like ‘ugh thanks Jenna!'”

“I feel like a socially acceptable thing is to just blanket-like all of someone’s photos? People have done that to me before”

“Like all the rest of them and then post a status about how you were hacked”

“And tag him and a bunch of other random people in a picture of shoes”

“Or you can do what I would do and just unlike and walk away”

“Oh he’ll get the notification. But you just have to take the hit.”

“Hahahaa omg. It’s too late”

“Did you leave the like or is he going to get one of those phantom notifications”

“Just play it off. Don’t bring it up unless he does. Then, when he does bring it up, STAB HIM IN THE NECK WITH A SALAD FORK”

“Unlike!!! The quicker the better !!”

“Oh fuck. Pretend it never happened. Still unlike it”

“Well if you haven’t yet you definitely can’t unlike it now so no worries about that anymore. Yeah now you have to own it”

“post wedding photos of prince william and kate and photoshop your faces in. or face meld your photos and put that face on the body of a baby. or send him a dick pic. Anthony weiner’s dick pic”

“unlike it and like his most recent one so he thinks FB just fucked up”

“Of all people to ask advice on this, why me?”

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