Every six months I am given a fun performance slot. I don’t have to rent a space, there is one person in the audience, and it is perhaps my most consistently truthful and gritty few minutes of spoken word that I do all year. It is slam poetry about capitalism and the place of modern youth inside of it. It is my bi-annual call to my student loan headquarters in Salt Lake City to beg them to keep my monthly payment for the next six-month repayment interval on the Reduced Plan.
I do not have a tear-inducing life story or a weird vocal inflection pattern that gets my performance on Upworthy, but I do have to bare all while laying on my couch switching tabs between my financial history and my crush’s high school photo albums on Facebook. There are a few questions that the agent on the phone is required by the company to ask of me every time I call before they can just process my request. It is about eight minutes of “Tell me about your situation…”, “How are you planning on improving your financial situation going forward?”, “Have you asked friends or relatives for help?”…
“You realized that you’re a goddamn adult, right?”
…in so many words.
So, come on out! Tix r free, you can be seated comfortably on my futon, and we’ll probs get drinks after!!!